how trance and I met

It all started back in 1988, when I was going to clubs. I loved old school deep chicago house, and used to go to the clubs (my favorite was industry, located in an west area of the city, where slums around cabrini green turned into lofts and became trendy) I was never into the mainstream clubs, mainly because I went to dance and listen to music. I didnt care about the drinks, or the seating. All I needed was a big dance floor, a couch or two, and a good DJ.
When I moved out to California, I started going to the "boy" clubs. Mostly my friends Paul, Scotty, Eric and I would hit Pleasuredome every weekend. They went for the boys, I went for the music. Again, it seemed all the girl bars played hip hop and R&B, not the type of music I was into. I wanted heart pumping, euphoric dance music that would keep me going all night long. around the age of 26 or so, my clubbing days were starting to fade. I moved to Sacramento, (another story for a different day) and didnt really get to the clubs much. I missed the music though. After all, that's what got me going in the first place. So I started to buy compilations, club mixes, or trance/techno compilations. This also doubled as great biking music, since I didnt own a car at the time, and my bike was my transportation.
After collecting lots of compilations, I still yearned for more music. I would go to a club every so often, and hear this music that I couldnt seem to find by randomly buying compilations. I had no idea of the DJ or who was mixing them.
Then, came internet radio. itunes was the gateway for me to finally get to listen to all sorts of music, and not just from the states.
I found myself going from one station to another, getting to experience the 4/4 beat I had come to know and crave. Some of my friends thought my love affair with this music would fade. Some of them HATED this music, and would curse me every time I would play it. Some forbid me from playing in their presence. (for those of you who have known me a while, i'm sure you can guess who this was)
Now I have found my niche, my style and I like to share music to those who will listen. It's not the type for everybody. Some people only like to listen to it when they are in club or event, others like it when they are working out.
Me? well, I can fall asleep to it, groove to it, work out to it, dance to it, or just veg out to it.
a future post will explain the emotional/spiritual side of what it means to me.

winter mix for summer fun

I at last received the mix, that I bought from James Lauer's site. Actually, because of my crazy persistance to obtain mixes off his site, he decided to create an online store.
I first emailed him just to see how I could get a copy of my favorite mixes. I offered up money to pay for a cd, since I wanted to travel with the mixes, and previously could only listen at work. Through some back and forth details, he decided to make an online store for others to buy his mixes. (I was his first sale and he also sent me a free mix for being the "beta buyer") I went to work this morning blasting "problem is" by Dub Pistols, and mixed by Lauer. I think this is one of my all time favorite trance songs.
woo hooo!!!!!! i am sooo excited :)

it all comes back to us eventually

The year is 1979, I am 11, & my friends are currently the pre-gang crowd. Now I say pre-gang because most of the boys on my block grew up to drop out of school/get GED's, and run with the gangs, use drugs, that sort of undesirable behavior.
But, back then, it was all silly horseplay.
So hanging out with these boys, I had on small occasions, participated in the not so desirable activities, such as thievery. Now my five finger discounting was all for the thrill of getting away with it, and trying to "hang tough" with my friends. Well, on this particular day, we decided we needed to go to the dimestore. This was Woolworth's for those of you who are old enough to know the dimestore, and for those of you who dont, well, it was the 1970's answer to the dollar store. you cold get everything there, including goldfish and hamsters. I remember many a goldfish being brought home in a bag, only to find it upside down a few weeks later.
So here we are, approaching the store, when we see a red cobra bmx bike, unlocked, resting up against the window. The lightbulbs start illuminating from all of us at once, and Tommy starts to say what we are all thinking. "free bike"
I dont know how they convinced the only female of the group to be the one to steal this thing, but somehow I let myself be bullied into grabbing that bike, and riding it back to my house like I was in the indy 500. All I remember of the moment was some short kid running out of woolworth's screaming "hey, hey, that's mine" (yeah, no kidding, it certainly wasnt ours)
I grew up in a house with storm doors, (in case of the ever so rare tornado), so we ran into my backyard and stashed the bike in the basement. we parted most of it out, forks to my friend Kurt, Tommy took the front tire, and I kept the frame. I painted the frame black, for fear that if someone had x-ray vision, and looking into my basement, they wouldnt know it's original color. That bike stayed in my basement for years. The REALLY WEIRD thing is, my parents never asked me where it came from or what it was doing in our basement. If I was my parents, I would have been all over my A**.
So, fast forward to 1983, I am now 16, and I am going out with this guy Peter. we go down to the basement, to get a little privacy, and that stupid bike is still there. We start kissing, talking, and he glances over to the place where the bike sits. he stops, and I see his mind thinking. He looks at me and says, oh wow, I used to have a bike just like that but it was red. I am now starting to become mortified at the reality of the situation beginning to take shape. Before I can even start to think, he continues to say, "but it got stolen" I am now really mortified. What do I do? does he know it's his? I dont think he does, and do I come clean? I feel guilt beyond guilt, and I conclude that I am going to fess up. It's the right thing to do.
I say to him, "so, did your bike get stolen in front of woolworths?" He nods with a "yeah" that is filled with his lightbulb moment beginning. "Well, Peter, that is your bike" "and I was the one that ripped it off" I continue to aplogize, and offer the bike up to him, (I just didnt know what to do or say). I explained the whole situation, and he was quite nice about it. It had been 5 years after all, and I was his girlfriend. This was my first realization that EVERYTHING, will come back around to you eventually, so you better be ok with the things you choose to do in life, and prepared to face the consequences of your actions.
As a side note, Peter and I only went out for a couple of weeks after that incident, then we broke up.

healthy?...you make the choice

I want to talk a little, about the difference between being health conscious , and being , well, anti-natural.
This doesnt make a-lot of sense to you now, but hopefully I will fix that.
Here at my place of employment, they do what they can to try and promote a more healthy snacking lifestyle. we have granola bars instead of a candy. ( and not the cheap kind either, these are the kind you would get at your upscale organic health foods store) we have fresh organic fruit delivered weekly, and do have potato chips, but they are the Terra Brand Chips that are actually dried yams, taro and yukon potatoes.
Yes, these are better then a bag of doritos, but this isnt what I am talking about. Let me dive a little deeper.
We have a array of sparkling waters, V8, and then we have, what this is all leading towards.... Talking Rain juice.
Now, what caught my eye about this bit of beverage, was the BIG BOLD LETTERING that read: 0 carbs, 0 calories. in small lettering, it read "does not contain any fruit"
This intrigued me to look on the back of the bottle to the ingredients to see exaclty what is in this fruity drink. The first few were chemicals I knew, splenda, potassium bensonate, water. then there were a few I didnt know, but figured they were needed for something. Then, almost last, was "natural flavors"
My question is...... exactly WHERE is this natural flavor coming from?? natural flavor from splenda, citric acid, vitiman A and water???? The particular brand I was drinking was strawberry-kiwi. No fruit juice or fruit, but it has natural flavor, yet doesnt have calories or carbs. It tasted like crappy kool aid, and personally, I think I will take my chances with a coke. At least I know where I stand with it.

"there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, Matt"

or so Tom Cruise says. I lost my respect for this bozo over the weekend, after watching the interview with him and Matt Lauer. I actually dont know if I had respect for him, but now, I think he's definitely lost credibility. If you haven't seen the interview, watch it online as it is worth listening to. He does a great job of manipulating the questions and avoiding direct answers but really fails in his explanation of what Scientology is, how he feels it should take the place of modern day drugs that "only mask the problem" and how Matt doesn't understand the history of psychology like he does. Maybe he should really spend some money on a new penis.

"beautiful things"

"no one's calling for me at the door
im predictable, dont bother anymore
now silently, it gets harder to ignore....

this dream I had theres nothing left to see,
what's done is done, this life has got a hold on me,
just let it go, one I can never be......

I forgot, that I might see
so many, beautiful things,
I forgot, that I might need
to find out, what life could be
......beautiful things

now i do, i do
can I change my mind
did I think things through
It was once my life
and it's my life I wanted"

Andain, "beautiful things".
Favorite mix is on Tiësto's Nyana cd.

This song made me aware of how I was participating in a unhappy situation, purely because I chose to, and was too much of a coward to see the "beautiful things".
All that has changed over the past 12 months, and I am now surrounded by the life I want.

#2 DJ

Armin Van Buuren!! what can I say, this guy is fucking fabulous!!!!
I discovered him in early 2004 year while sulking in my stagnant life. I started listening to internet radio, since I had some decent speakers at work, and spend about 10 hours a day there. I needed variety, and I could listen to what was going on musically in France, or what was "popular" in Europe, India, and locally with unknown musicians. I love the internet!!!!!
Anyhow, back to my little story, I was listening to Music One, and a set came on, featuring a mix of Ocean Lab's "Satellite". Loved the song, loved the mix and it seemed to fit my mood of the time. I finally found this song on A State of Trance 2004, by Armin Van Buuren.
this cd has become my most favorite of Trance cd's. It tells a wonderful story, and it has some favorites of the year, Burned with Desire and Perfect Wave.
Armin has recently produced the Sensation White anthem, (which Laura and I plan on going to next year along with Sensation Black), a show that looks like its right up our alley.
If you are looking to hear some great Euro Trance/vocal trance, Armin is the DJ to get you introduced into that genre.
You can hear him every Thursday, A State of Trance @11am PST on Digitally Imported.

Dead Can Dance

It's early sunday morning, around 2 AM, and the year is 1985. I am 17 and living in my 1 bedroom apartment that I share with my best friend Marsha, which is 2 blocks from Wrigley Field. I keep an empty tape sitting my my tape deck, just in case I want to record a song off the radio. I sleep with the music on, for reasons unknown.
My eyes open fiercly, with purpose, because the music playing is capturing my attention so profoundly. I scramble out from under the covers to hit the record button on my stereo. I get 1/2 of one song and to my luck, the entire 2nd song. WNUR is playing sets of 2 that night. Unfortunately, the DJ doesnt list the songs playing, so I have no idea who created this beautiful music I just heard.
Thats ok, I will just figure it out tomorrow, I tell myself. Well, 3 weeks later and I still cant find the artist. I am growing impatient and anxious, because I really want to know who does this music that I seem to play every day. I at least want the full song, instead of my 1/2 taped version. I ask everyone I know if they know who it is. I play them the tape, and no one knows. ARRGH! another month goes by and I am about to give up. I am talking with my firend Dion who I havent seen in a while. I decide to play her the tape, since we have similar interests in music, hoping she might know. She listens, and responds "well, it sounds like the Cockteau Twins, or Dead Can Dance" I ponder, mmmmm, I know its NOT the Cockteau Twins, so I decide I am going straight to the record store to see about this Dead Can Dance option.
I arrive at Wax Trax records later that day in search of Dead Can Dance. I find an album, (yes, vinyl, it is 1986 after all) Within the Realm of a Dying Sun. I decide to buy it, knowing that even if it doesnt have the song I have heard on the radio, if it's the same band, I will probably like it anyway. Racing home, anticipating my find, I have butterflies inside.
I start to play the album, and THIS IS IT. it's the one, I am so happy and excited, I can hardly contain it. Every song on the album is excellent. I have fallen in love with this band!
That was the story of how I first experienced Dead Can Dance. Almost 20 years later, they are still one of my favorite artists.
Dead Can Dance was founded by Brendan Perry and Lisa Gerrard. both have gone on to do solo projects, and are back this year for a tour. Not many artists move me like they have, and they have spoken my language for many years.

urban slopes

So now I am going to talk about my other childhood experience, sledding down fire escapes.
In the city, rooftops become cliff edges, and buildings are the mountains, and old pull down fire escapes can be used for hills. Sometimes when we were bored, and had nothing to do, a ride down the "hill" sounded good. The only problem was, we didnt have a sled or anything to "slide" down the "hill" with. This is when we started to become resourceful.
There would always be a cardboard box to be found and with a few strategic cuts in place, this made for a cheap and quick transport device.
We would pull down the snow covered fire escape, gently walk up it, as to not disturb the snow, and then proceed to slide down the "hill".
Sure, there were a few bumpy parts, but, when your a kid, everything is an adventure, so it didnt matter to us that it wasnt the smoothest ride.

Skitching and other urban winter sports

When I was young, growing up in Chicago, I lived in an inner city neighborhood that was mid to lower class. My bungalow (type of house in midwest) was settled about a block off the busy street, and there was lots of adventures to be had, being a kid and all. winter time meant snow time, and snow time in the city meant skitching.
For all of you that may not be familiar with the art and sport of skitching, I will try to describe a typical day I might duck out of school to engage in this unique sport.
First you need the right gear, really old shoes with little tread, (my personal faves were good ol' chuck taylors, worn down till there was just smooth rubber) Next, you will need a warm jacket, good gloves that have some sort of grip or padding on the palms. This will prove an important advantage over just having cotton/knit gloves.
In a nutshell, skitching is sneaking up behind a car stopped at a stop sign, on the snow/ice covered streets, grabbing the back bumper and going for a little ride around town.
This involves both stealth, agility, a little balance and lots of fun and danger. The best cars were V.W. bugs, because the bumpers were low, easy to hold, and the back end was such that it was hard for the driver to see you sneaking up and catching a ride. I remember the news used to put out a little reminder during the winter months, for drivers to look out for kids when coming upon stop signs.
Being a skitcher, the main thing you really needed to look out for once you caught a ride, is where you were being taken and the timing of your departure. This could prove quite dangerous if you didnt bail before the car hit plowed streets, or if they stopped suddenly at a crossway, and you went face first into the bumper. The best place to be was on the corner of the bumper, so you had the best bail space.

Tomorrow I will talk about my other winter sport, riding down snow covered fire escapes.

Where do pigeons come from and what the hell is nougat?

Rhetorically speaking, what the hell is nougat? many have had it, many have loved it and nobody seems to know what exactly is this fluffy, sugary, pasty ,foamy confection that is in so many of today's maistream candy .
Ever notice how when eating a 3 musketeers, and drinking a fresh coke, sometimes the coke will react with the nougat and foam really hard, like all the carbonation is getting angry. very weird.
and what about pigeons? where do they come from? I know I see gaggles of them in the city, all walking around aimlessly. (probably because the rooftops and store signs all have spikes now to deter them from landing) I know they breed, (unless they are the coveted immortals), because they have continued to exist. Yet I never see baby pigeons. I assume they mate, lay an egg, and walla....... you have a young pigeon. But where are they all hiding?
I have seen baby squirrels, baby ducks, baby birds, nest's with small eggs, all of which were NOT pigeons. This is a mystery I would like to crack.

when words fail to define our feelings, music begins to speak

I find that when I am at a loss for words, music can pick up and define much more accurately, what I am trying to convey. From the earliest I can rememeber, I loved music, and the way it would speak. 1 song could at times bring happiness to a dismal day, or at other times, that same song could bring me down from the pedestal I had put myself on, humbling me. It could also bring comfort when no one else could or wanted too. It invigorates me, it subdues me, and most of all, it is at the core of who I am.
This is a work in progress, and will be slow going at first, but, who's in a hurry?

Trance Dance and Romance

I decided that for all of the dance music I tend to listen to, perhaps it was time to start sharing my favorites with the outside world, other than the poor souls who travel in my car, or walk into my office.
The latest DJ who has captured my attention is out of Chicago, James Lauer. He takes the darker edge of Trance and mixes grooves together that keep you wanting more and more, craving the hypnotic passion that this music offers. My particular favorites are his Winter mix 2004 and XM mix 2004, which I consider both of these to be exceptional.
Another great up and coming DJ is Menno De Jong. I seem to really like the style of trance that comes out of Europe, and especially the Netherlands. It has a happiness to it that seems to always uplift your spirits. Now, I love the darker edge of music, but there is something to be said for euphoric, happy, the world is fine type of music. He mixes up the styles, that can be comparitive of Armin Van Buuren, by telling a story. Very bright, hopeful, triumphant and happy, with part serious mixed in. Check him out if you have decent bandwidth. :)