Lets hear it for Aly and Fila!

Listening to DI this morning, and there was a featured set by 2 DJ's out of Egypt: Aly and Fila. Very good talent coming from these guys. They have that Euro happy get up and go style trance, but with more of an ambient mix to it, which makes for very full sounding "fat" mixes. You can buy them on iTunes, but I havent found much on Amazon.

a "ah ha" moment

So I had one of those this moring while commuting to work. It seems that most of my "ah ha" moments come while either travelling to/from work, or while in the shower.
Anyhow, my ah ha moment came in the form of the looking at the glass half full/half empty theory.
Without all the boring details, I have been having a struggle with a situation in my life, and today, after some random thinking, I decided to look at it with the glass half full theory. This actually worked and had me looking at the same situation with a much brighter view. I dont know how I was allowed to see it with a different view, but I have, and now I feel much better about the whole thing, because that same view that I saw, snowballed into other areas of my own persona to give me insight into those as well and make sense of some old baggage I carried but could now drop.
My long story short is that sayings like "the glass half full/half empty" that have been around for a long time carry weight with the words, and they carry that weight because they work. I mean really, if you are happier because of seeing the same "glass of water with the same volume" differently, and are happier because of it, then who the fuck really cares how much water is in the damn glass anyway? I say, be happy, its much easier on the heart.

Lemon Quiche'

Well, it is Christmas past, and I have finished my baking for the holidays. As you all know, this baking thing is not one of my special talents. But, with motivation and appetite, I sometimes venture outside my realm to bake. This year was lemon bars. Now, truth be told, my mom was a crappy cook, but she did have a few good recipes where she shined. One of these were her lemon bars. So, I called her up and asked her for the recipe to the delicious treats. As she rattled off the ingredients, I really thought nothing of it. It was short, and to the point, and I thought..... this ought to be easy.
First I was to make the dough (crust) this consisted of powdered sugar, flour and butter. pretty much your basic shortbread. I cooked it for the 20 minutes, and let it cool, just as she had said. Now time for the topping, which was the best part. I was to mix in 3 tbsp of flour, a whole lot of lemon juice and 3 eggs. Somehow this seemed odd to me, but I didnt really know why. I mixed it up adn it looked weird, but i thought, "it needs to bake, maybe thats the problem" So into the oven it went for about 20 minutes longer. The buzzer rings, I take it out, and it looks very very wrong. it looks NOTHING like my moms lemon bars. It actually looks like a quiche, with stress cracks on the top and everything. But I thought, hmm, maybe appearance is overrated and it will taste ok. So, my spoon went down into the pan, and again, it really looked like quiche, but i took a bite and nearly spat it out with jet speed. *wow* I had made lemon quiche. it tasted just like lemon juice in a flan like form. I was now convinced that mom had left something out, so i decided to look into Betty Crocker and see what she puts in hers.
I flip to a page with a lemon bar recipe, and like big bold letters smacking me the face, I immediately knew what was srong. S U G A R, there was no sugar in her recipe and I knew that was the problem. I felt a weight lifted and a renewed sense of purpose, and made a second batch. They tasted good, but I think in all of the time spent on the first batch, i got too impatient to bake the dough on the second batch long enough, so the lemon mixture soaked the crust, and became a little to gooey to eat.
But, I know the error of my ways now, and the next time I make them, they will be great.

times are a changing

I was alerted by a friend of mine that there were new, more "adult" advertisments on the backs of busses these days, but I caught this one for myself a few days ago.
It's a bit dark, but I was in a hurry cause the light had just turned green.

seven seven's

Seven Things To Do Before I Die
1. Go to Austraila
2. Own a home
3. own a vehicle that is completely paid off and still running good
4. Have a solid savings account
5. Do something life changing that helps someone or a group of others in need
6. Own a coffee shop that host's local talent
7. Organize the worlds first Trance event with a live acoustical orchestra and DJ's

Seven Things I Cannot Do
1. Sing
2. Read directions (im a more hands on kinda girl)
3. Chin ups
4. Deliver a well prepared argument in the heat of the moment
5. Be a famed dessert chef
6. Ski
7. Trim down these hips and thighs!

Seven Things That I Admire In Others
1. Ability to laugh at most anything, and the ability to be serious when needed
2. Passion (not sexual, though thats cool too)
3. Strength through being humbled
3. Intelligence
4. Determination in the face of adversity
5. Sensitivity/compassion
6. Musically or Artistically Talented

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. Like
2. awesome
3. AYE!
4. Scheiße (sh*t in German)
5. Uhmm
6. thats unfortunate
7. Kaycee!!

Seven Books (or Series) I Love
1. Gone with the Wind
2. The Vampire Series by Anne Rice
3. Harry Potter Series
4. Four Seasons by Stephen King
5. ?
6. ?
7. (can you tell reading is not my thing?)

Seven Movies I Have Watched Over and Over Again
1. Midnight Express
2. Gone with the Wind
3. Usual Suspects
4. Elf
5. Serpent and the Rainbow
6. Midnight Run
7. Finding Nemo

Seven people I would want to answer this
1. Marie-Helene
2. Kathy
3. Anyone who wants to
4. "
5. "
6. "
7. "

California in December

While a 1/3'rd of the nation is buried under 10 inches of snow, pelted by ice storms, or just plain freezing with temps in the teens, we in California experience our version of December.
Now truth be told, there are really only the 2 seasons here, Rain or Sun. This is the rainy season, but it really doesnt get into full swing until January, so we have managed to have some really nice days.
It gets chilly at night, and I had to laugh the other evening while Laura and I were watching the weather on the 11:00 news. The weathercaster was gearing up in his voice, and like a man speaking as if the fear of God was put forth into him, he remarks," and tonight we may dip into the 30's" ending his sentence with a tone that was incredibly dramatic. It is all relative to where you live, and to most of the winter bearing states, his dramatic accounts of the forecast for the night might seem a bit over the top, but to us it was time to turn on the heat!!! Luckily for us, it was back up to 65 F during the day.

Same song, different feelings

Not sure what possessed me to start listening ot Bob Seger right after Armin Van Buuren, but I thought I wanted to listen to something different, to help me analyze some data here at work.
2 songs into my iTunes oldschool playlist and I feel depressed! But still I listen, Roll me away, Night Moves, Weve got Tonight, and I start feeling like I am back in the early 80's, it's midsummer and cornfields are all around me, dirt's kicking up from a dusty road where a pick up has just passed. It might be somewhere in rural Illinois, could be Indiana, or Iowa, but definitely the midwest. I start sulking, listening to Bob singing about being lonely, hardships, and that strum of the guitar. This was not the best choice to concentrate with, because I keep having these bouts of nostalgic memories, and then feeling like I have hard times, that I dont even have anymore. Music is so awesome, to put you in a mood, bring back memories, or have you make some that you never even had.
Ahh, I am saved, Bob is over now and ELO has taken over. Still back in the 80's, but a little more upbeat. (Fire on High)

Armin .....State of Trance episode #225

This is an exceptional episode and should be a cd all unto itself. This is a great mix which can be caught on Digitally Imported FM.
You can also get the tracklistings from his website, ASOT #225. There is still 1 hour left in today's show, so grab a listen if you want. Armin never ceases to amaze me with his mixes. Everytime he starts to stray, a few weeks later he is back with a better show and mix.
You can really feel the story of his mixes and the emotion behind them.
If you get a chance to see him live, take it. I missed him when he was here in San Francisco a couple months back.

kitty cat

Here is my cat Turlow, caught in deep thought. Perhaps he was just thinking about when to get his lazy butt up to eat some more, or maybe the location of where to leave his next furball, or could be about where to lay next. Whatever the burning question, I am sure he will have it answered.

BooTASTIC!

The night of Hallows eve in almost upon us, and so is the changing of the clocks. ick, so long to daylight......... I will rise in the AM, and leave work in the without the sun in the PM once again.

I am very excited about halloween, even though I am never satisfied with my costumes. Laura and I have tickets to see a taping of the Ellen show, and they called today saying that the taping we are going to attend, is to be aired on halloween, and to wear a "daytime friendly" costume. hmmm, daytime friendly......lets see......I suppose my french maid costume with whip in hand is out. (ummm yeah, not really)
I always have the hardest time with costumes! Every year, I anticipate halloween, excited and eager to be something really cool, something that will be talked about for months afterwards. Usually, after Halloween passes, I swear that I have an entire year to think about and obtain a potentially legendary costume, and then splat! it's spring already, then summer, then fall, and by September, the panic starts to set in. What am I going to be? Do I have the funds to cover it? then, it's mid October and I find myself going to party city or Spirit superstore getting a cheesy, overly expensive costume that never quite fits the way the picture shows it should. Such is my dilemma as of today. I suppose the 3 musketeer costume will have to suffice, but again, I am already thinking of next year and what I should be, since I have a year to think about it ..............

a love affair begins.......

at last, I am on the road with my new bike! I love it and the weather has been awesome to ride. mid to upper 70's and sunny.
The first night began with this unplanned passenger hanging on, I didnt like it.




And there she is, I LOVE my new bike. (not a flattering photo of me though) It rides very smooth, and handles nice. Of course this is my first bike, and my 2nd day riding, but, for a beginner, I can say it handles easily. It is exactly what I wanted, to commute and have fun with.
My biggest problem thus far is making sure I always turn off my signal. It takes getting used to, since after turns, it doesn not shut of automatically like a car. The first day I just rode around the neighborhood and luckily, there really isnt much traffic on our side streets, so forgetting about the signal light didnt cause confusion to any drivers. But by the 2nd day, I only forgot it once.

a little grumble helps the world move along

So within 3 hours of my blog concerning my grumpy day and waiting for my shit to arrive, 3 out of 5 things have arrived.
I do declare that a little rant to cyberspace can do some good.

random thoughts

-change brings new experiences. experience can create wisdom. dont be afraid of change, use it to your advantage.

-being sorry means saying your sorry. those 2 words can mean a lot to a person. we seem to throw around hate and fear, defensive attacks and offensive language, but the hardest thing it seems for us to do is say we are sorry. take the time to say your sorry, sincerely, when you can.

-people just dont think (at times niether do I ). I bought a FAKE crow at Target for a halloween decoration in my office. 3 people, 1 of them a software engineer who you would think had some sense, thought it was once a real bird, that I stuffed and now had displayed. this is a $4.00 bird people, that I bought from Target, and doesnt really look like a real dead bird. Comon people, I am not into taxidermy.

-why are there so many fucking cereal choices? they have devoted an entire aisle to cereal. doesnt this seem a bit much? do we really need that many choices?

-walk your talk, otherwise shut up. I am guilty of this, and I try to correct it when i am conscious of it. (if thats mis-spelled, i am too lazy to fix it) Sometimes i need to say less, it says more.

-an ex smoker never stops having smoking dreams. Had one last night, freaked out thinking I was cheating, and wondered why I was smoking. hate those.

-after all this blather, im just not grumpy anymore. it helps. hmmmmm........

sometimes we just cant win

Now, how many times have you experienced the over eager sales person who starts barking at you the minute you walk through the door, hangs within 7 feet around you like a hawk, watching your every move. They wait with anticipation incase there is anything you might need, you will let them know.
They are so aggressive that we fantasize in our heads about telling them to just "buzz the fu** off" and we will let them know if we need them, when we need them and not a second sooner.
Then there are times where we can experience just the opposite. We walk into a store, meander around a bit, look at the merchadise to be sold, waiting for someone to notice us, and say "hi, is there anything I can help you with", but this doesnt happen. We might look around, like we are trying to telepathically send them "notice me" messages.

Such an occurence of the ladder happened to me today. At first I felt jilted, wondering if they thought I was just not worthy of their time. and didnt I look like I was going to spend money, so they werent going to "waste their time"
Eventually I was helped, and the sales clerk was very nice, not displaying any characteristics of prejudice. As I left the dealership, I thought to myself, how silly of me to think that they might be profiling me, and not helping me because of some status quo issue. It was an ideal situation, I wasnt harrassed, and the staff was accomodating. I found it funny, because I am so conditioned to being "jumped" by sales people, that when the time comes that I am not flooded upon, my first thought is that there is something "wrong with me". It took a moment for it to sink in, and then I started to enjoy the act of browsing a store and not being bothered or feeling pressured for "just looking". I was amused by my reaction and my rationalization and finally my realization. it was a good "ah ha" moment.

hooked on another......

.......program. It is the fall, and it is also the season for the new series and shows. Old favorites are back, new ones emerge and our Tivo is getting full.
I decided to give the show "surface" a go and see how it was. Its hoakey, but not hoakey enough to turn me away. in fact, after the first showing, I reluctantly muttered "im hooked " . After the second show this Monday, I confidently proclaimed, IM HOOKED.
It could really turn out to be a bomb, but just the hint of scifi and world destruction by giant lizard mammal water creatures was enough for my imagination to fill in the void, and decide to tune in until I get bored.
I saw another great movie last night, "Schultze gets the Blues"
This was such a good movie. Very random scenes, and a story told more in pictures then in dialogue. The main character is soooooooo lovable, and it sucks you in fast.

brooding?

This is my cat, and like my cat, I sometimes too have this look. It is a look I get while trying to figure out just why I blog. is it for the fact that I am writing crap that no one really reads but me, or is it because I am an exhibitionist, or because I want to keep the few that do read it informed of my goings' on inside my head.
Whatever the reason, I keep doing it.

all said and done

Well, in 6 days, I went from never touching a motorcycle to getting my license. Today I took the written test at the DMV and passed. Yippee! So, dont you all feel safe now that you know it has taken me only 6 days to do this? yeah me too.

I learned something today.......experience far outweighs written comprehension.
So, as I mentioned earlier, I went to the DMV today to take my written motorcycle test. In filling out the paperwork ( and much to my surprise, the clerk was very friendly) The clerk asks me if I have taken the written test for driving a motor vehicle within the past 12 months. Of course I hadn't and she tells me that I will need to take half the test again, and gives me a handbook, and says you "might want to brush through this".
Being that it's DMV, I figured I at least have an hour or so to read up on the latest "rules of the road", but oh no, not today. No sooner did I finish signing my name on the application, did she say, ok, go to window 20 and they will take your picture and then you can start your test. EEEKs I thought. so on my walk around to window 20 from window 14, I rapidly thumb through the handbook looking for ANYTHING slightly unfamiliar.
This might prove to be an embarassing day, I might get my motorcycle permit, but fail the regular test.
Then what do I do I thought...I've had my license, and been driving for 20 years, and now it might go away? How would I get home? Would I have to break the law? Because I am certainly not going to leave my car there.
Rest assured, the test had not really changed since 1984 when I last took it, and the same stupid questions are still there.

So, with a sigh of relief I am finally legal, and can ride my motorcycle that I havent gotten just yet.

afternoon thunder

I had to make a post because I m soooooo excited. Here it was a sunny day in California, like it has been for the past 3 months, and then around lunch it started getting dreary. then about 2 ish, it started to rain, thunder and lightening. Now, about 4 people in the office were like "ooohh, it's earthquake weather" which comon people, there is no such thing!
Back to my delight, it's thundering, thundering as I speak and I am getting chills, I miss storm so bad living out here. I miss the musty smell of a good storm brewing and the low groans and bellows that mother nature can unleash.

1 step away from the road

So this weekend was mostly spent in the hot sun with a helmet, gloves, boots and a long sleeve jacket. You might be thinking why??? well I took my motorcycle safety class this weekend, which I highly recommend to anyone thinking about riding.
There was about 8 hours of theory and a written exam, and then 8 hours of riding instruction, followed by a riding exam. Now I have wanted a bike for a long time, and wanted to ride a motorcycle, the only problem was, I didnt know how. I had never set foot on one. I was quite petrified at first, but by the second day, I found myself becoming more comfortable with going faster and turning quickly. It was a challenging test, because they make you do these tight figure eight's within a small bounding box, then there are cornering and swerving techniques that are evaluated, including proper speed, not too fast, but not too slow. You learn a lot more about bikes, and I also have a newer understanding of motorcyclists that go inbetween cars when traffic is slow or stalled. It is much harder to control a bike going slow or in 1st gear behind traffic, then if it can go quickly between a tight spot. You also develop an awareness for all the things in and on a road that are hazardous to a bike, that you would never encounter with a car. I am happy to say I passed, and my score was pretty good considering I had never ridden a motor bike before. There were 4 excersizes we were judged on, and I aced 3 of the 4. My fourth one I had points taken off for rolling off the throttle slightly while I was in my 130 degree turn, but over all, I think I did pretty good, especially since 1/3 of the class already rode motorcycles and had their permit, but were going for their license, and I scored slightly better then them. little kudos to myself there. I am just so happy. I want to go out and get my bike tomorrow and start riding!! But.... there is one more step, so it's off to the DMV to get my license first, then I will get my bike!
I will also point out the importance of good riding boots. Mine were not. They were soft leather, very soft leather and after 2 days of riding, I have a little bruise on the top of my toe because of all the shifting.

Sunday Sunday........

I had this song running through my head, and it is Sunday afterall, ending yet another wonderful weekend. Saturday was spent mostly relaxing at home and watching a movie. This morning started out with a drive (in the mini) to Twist cafe for some breakfast, (eggs, potatoes, and toast if you are curious) and then it was off over the hill to Santa Cruz for the Mystery Spot. I had been a few times, but Laura had not been, and well, you just cant really explain it, so it's something you need to experience for yourself. It made me dizzy, like it always does, but it also makes me laugh and boggles my mind. It's a place where laws of physics, gravity, and your sight do not agree with eachother. Things roll uphill, and you can lean at a 45 degree angle without really falling.
Next it was off to the Boardwalk and Wharf to take some pictures with the mini. It was a beautiful day, and a really fun time.

paying more attention

So Iv'e had the game Splinter Cell Chaos Theory for some time now. I took a summer break from playing it, just because of moving and troubles with my DVD /CD ROM, and time in general. So I picked it up again and have been playing almost nightly. There are objectives/opportunities where I need to hack into a computer, and before I get to the terminal, there are screen savers running on the computers. On the screen savers are various adverts for movies or show's, most of which I never pay attention to because I thought they were just put there for effect, meaning nothing. BUT how wrong I was, because much to my surprise, the screen saver was for Transporter 2, opening September 2nd. The other one was a billboard in a green house up on the wall, and it was for Supernatural on the WB. Both of these I now know are real show's, because I have seen the adverts for them. I was surprised, and on a new mission, to pay very close attention to the background of my games to see what else I may discover. If I would have really been paying attention, I would have know months in advance of a fall show coming to the WB. There have also been adverts for AXE soap. All of these I have found to be an interesting way of marketing and I will now be looking between the lines to see what else I can find.

wheeeeeee................................whoa!

This past weekend I spent riding my bike up by Lexington resevoir. I hate biking up that hill and the Dam, and truth be told, I dont ride up it, I walk my bike because it's just too darn steep for me. BUT, I do ride down the hill and that is the fun part. Now to the avid mountain bike fan, 31 mph might not seem like much , but to me, it's really fun. There is something very cool about being able to go over the speed limit of 25mph posted for the cars on the road, but be on a bike.
So I was riding back, barreling down the path, when I came across this cute guy and almost ran over him. I had to hit the brakes and swerve to the right in order not to run over the little fella.

getting a new bike

For as long as I could remember, I have always secretly wanted to ride a motorcycle.
I have had friends who had them, and been a back seat rider, but I always wanted to ride my own.
for 1 reason or another, I never learned how to ride, nor did I ever buy a bike.
So, at my ripe middle age of 37, I have decided to throw caution to the wind, and finally feel the freedom I have wanted to feel.
I love to ride my mountain bike downhill, but going uphill is such a bore, so now I can finally have the benefit of going fast without the effort of pedaling up a hill to get that feeling. woo hoo
What I liked about this bike is it's more old style look. I am not in the market to be speeding down the freeway in a racer. It's just not my style.
I like the more cruising, just out for fun kind of bike, and this just caught my eye and fit my vision.
I am excited and nervous, but more on the excited side.
I probably wont actually get the bike until October, but I am still very excited.:)

popcorn????

We all have odd dreams, and sometimes we just cant get a handle on exactly where they have stemmed from. Such was the case last night with my dream.
So it starts out, I am in this hummer, but it's old and rusted out, and cant get out of 2nd gear. I am trying to manuever it out of this parking lot that has a really high hill. I manage to turn the vehicle around, and park it so I can pick up the rest of my friends who were waiting in the lot because they somehow were homeless.
So we all get in the hummer and I start exit the parking lot and am driving down the paved road, and then in an instant, as dreams are, I am now in this dirt road going up a hill. I smell something burning and it's popcorn. I look over to my right and notice that there is a farmer lighting patches of his field on fire. I go up to the farmhouse which is nothing but a garage with a bench and inside is president Clinton talking about how he wants to expand the farmhouse and is lighting an acre around the farm on fire. The ground is actually filled with cornstalks, and it's a special type of corn that you can pop it by burning it. Clinton explains how he is feeding the hungry animals and clearing the ground for construction. I looked around and it was nothing but white fluffy popcorn on the ground and cows grazing.
Very odd

today's meaningless drivel

Last night, at 9pm I walked out of my apartment and locked the front and back door for the last time. I am finally out of my old place 100%. I have cleaned and spackled and cleaned some more, taking most of the weekend, inbetween going to the San Franciso Tattoo expo, and watching Laura get an awesome tattoo.
My goal was to be completely out last weekend, but you know how that goes. I had such high hopes, and then after I moved, I wanted to never see my old place again, and I kept finding dirt in places that I hadnt seen in over 3 years. Amongst the findings were:
- a nub of a cheeto, which, I dont even eat cheeto's , so that came from a guest at some point
- 3 dried rose petals, which i cant remember ever having roses, so that must have been really old or someone elses
- a wrapper from a certain brand of "protection", which again, is not my brand
- and my favorite, a very dried kitty hairball that was from one of my cats, who knows how old that was, or how it made it's way to the location behind a bookcase, that was only 1.5 inches away from the wall.

I started seeing a trend here, and got the feeling that much more was going on, when I aquired a roommate and was spending more nights at Laura's house. It was a little creepy.

Oh, which reminds me a a sick story I would like to share. I forgot all about it until right now.
ok, so we are at the tattoo expo, and Laura is about 35-40 minutes into her tattoo. I kept walking around, because there wasnt much room in the booth for friends. Only room for the 3 artist's and the 3 people getting tattooed.
I digress..........There was a stage nearby that had some freakshow's, (literally) and every once in a while they would give away free stuff. So I decided to venture over and hold my hand up to try and grab on of the free t-shirts that they were throwing into the crowd.
up towards the front of the stage was this kid. and I DO MEAN KID! he was 12. the guy giving away the free stuff started asking the audience for a sick joke, deciding who would get the next t -shirt. So, I hear this young voice saying somethin about........... "what smells like dead fish"........
I was horrified! The guy on stage was a little stunned too, and repeats the question for clarification, and then asks the kid "how old are you?" He exclaims "12" with such pride in his voice. I think everyone was in shell shock that the guy on stage just laughed and gave the kid the shirt.
I was mortified that someone would allow their kid onstage to say something like that. I am all for freedom of speech, but lets please use some tactful judgment people!

10:52 thought

I was walking across my production floor, passing the lunchroom and was hit by the smell of egg. This wasnt the stinky egg smell. This was the smell of egg salad. I thought "damn that smells good" and like a lightbulb being turned on, I was like, I NEED EGG SALAD TONIGHT! My mouth started to water, and my stomach started to feel hungry, even amidst the crappy instant oatmeal I had for breakfast.
Egg Salad, something so tasty that I forget about. Havent had it in years, probably wouldnt have thought about it for years to come without the scent awakening my taste buds.

blah, blah, blog

This is the hard time of the day. It's 2:09pm and this is where it gets hard to concentrate, work and be productive. Why you ask? Because I am bored and lathargic! I have a trillion things in my inbox, well, actually only 2 (ive kept up good today), but I have a trillion things to buy and about 7 vendors I want to strangle right now, all of which are completely ineffective in my supply chain.
So, I am choosing to take the high road and not fantasize about acts of violence against my opposition, and instead, clog my blog with meaningless drivel.
There's got to be more of you out there, just wishing they could walk out the door at this very minute, and say-"yep, im done for the day". No more bad times, no more excuses, just happy times away from the office.
Well, I suppose that wouldnt fly to well with the powers that be, so I will sink back down into my chair and start my string of phone calls once again.
◊◊tangent◊◊
They have been closing all the local Subway stores for remodeling. I went to go there for lunch today and it was closed, so I chose to go to Fry's and get a pc game instead to self soothe. I ended up with a new game and finding my way to TOGO's (which I really dont care for). I never really realized the immense size of bread that TOGO's gives you. You could take off the entire top, slice the bottom half in two, and still have a slightly larger than normal size sandwich bread. Why do they use so much bread????? and then they put a tiny marble size dollup of mayo/mustard on it, and thats supposed to moisten my half loaf of french bread?? geez!

a WICKED kind of night

As the hour struck 8 pm last night, I was quickly transported into the land of OZ, and back in time to learn the tales of two very different, yet similar witches. This was of course the musical "Wicked".
For my first musical, I have to say that I enjoyed myself more than I anticipated. Though I am not a huge fan of musicals, I am a very huge fan of live performances, and this is really where it's at for me.
The set was beautiful, and at times I found myself (being the technical person I can sometimes be) fascinated by the fluid movement of the huge sets, and actors on cue, transitioning scene to scene. Everything about live performance is captivating. From the element of mistake that cannot be undone, to the sheer creative aspect of human performance.
Whether it's musicians, or actors, live performance is just captive of my attention and heart. The story was cool too, dont get me wrong. But for me, I am focused more on the performace of human beings, telling a tale to the audience, expressing themselves for our enjoyment.
During some of the lengthy songs, I found myself wandering to the sets, wondering how did they do that, watching all the mechanics of the actors footsteps, knowing exactly when to turn. With about 15 people on stage, it's very fascinating the way lights, sound and acting come together to form a huge choreographed scene. It's not only the dance routine that is taking place, but every aspect of sound, and lights to form a beautiful, enchanting performance.
OF course the element for mistake is there, and a good actor will not let you notice that mistake, however, Glinda was not one of those actors last night, and chuckled after tripping, and breaking her character a few times.
In summary, the story was great, and the company was superb to make my first musical a success.

a movie not for the faint of heart or sensitive

We went to see aristocrats this weekend and let me verify that every warning you have heard, (or may not have heard but I am telling you now), is true. Just the warning on the theatre ticket window stating that if you left within the first 30 minutes, you could get your money back, was enough insentive for Laura and I to say "lets see it!"
This movie, or documentary is about a joke that has been circulating between comics for years and years, and each comic adds their own spin on the joke itself. The first line of the joke is the same, and the "punchline" is the same, but the journey each comedian takes you on is where the real part of the joke lies and how each comic has their own personality embedded in the tale.
This is by far the raunchiest, foul, discusting, offensive and yet very funny in a "cult" sort of way tale you will hear.
I dont really know if I would recommend it to anyone, but if you are curious and thick skinned, go satisfy your curiousity just to say you saw it. It's just not the kind of movie/documentary that you would recommend to others, though it is very funny in parts. It is more a informational that you just have to see for yourself if you dare.

cool!! I might need this

Car Whisperer

Check this out. This could be a nifty device, just watch what you say in the future :)

Markus Schulz

This is another great DJ. Tends to play lots of progressive trance, less vocal and very upbeat with plenty of ethereal edges. You can catch his show every Thursday on DI.fm
I havent purchased any new cd's in a while, mostly been listening to online stations. However, I did get a pretty nifty software program "techno eJay". This makes it even easier then (in my opinion) garage band to create music. It doesnt seem to be available in the states, so I had to buy it from Canada. It used to be available here, but I suspect it wasnt a big hit, so after v.2, they stopped selling in the states, or made it very hard to find.
Making music has been on the backburner, with moving and packing and being in limbo, not to mention my stupid .dll error that crept up on Sonar 3. So I am out recording software now, and need to fix that problem. After I am settled, I suspect I will be trying to resume creation of some new songs.
::tangent::
why is it people say they want to hear change of information in advance of a deadline, but when that information gets passed along, they tell you to make it happen anyway. So, you bust your hump to make it happen, only to miss a deadline as previously stated, and then get reamed for missing the deadline and not letting them know till it was too late. I think this sort of behavior, practiced mostly between sales and mfg. is a trap. It is designed to make you go crazy, plain and simple. My comment to all this is, be careful what you ask for and be prepared to HEAR THE ANSWER. Which actually leads into another tangent, this same philosophy can be applied to people who ask "how are you" as a means of a daily greeting. Most people who throw this phrase around dont really want to know how you actually are, it's this false sense of concern, wrapped up in a polite package.

Somewhere on a beach...........

there is someone, reclining in a ergonomically comfy recliner, while small subtle waves lap at thier feet. Somewhere on a beach, there is someone soaking up a day's worth of vitamin E, and sipping on a ice cold beverage of choice.
Somewhere on a beach, there is someone relaxing to the sound of birds, and taking an afternoon nap.
That someone is not me.

"current tv" is a must see!

So I need to SHOUT out about (oooh, thats kinda catchy) "current tv". This is Google's network on cable/direct tv and affiliated with Al Gore in some way. It started broadcasting this Monday, 8-1-05 and it is AWESOME!~!
The set up is similar to the old MTV, where they had vj's, only current tv has these people just explaining what the next "pod" will be. Programming is set up in "pods", which are small 5-10 minute documentaries. The great thing about this network is that is is fresh, and informative in a way that brings the age of internet and tv together. Pods are comprised of documentaries made by anyone with a video camera who wants to speak their passion or story.
For instance, last night I watched a pod on suicide in Japan, and how there are these groups of people on the internet, who advertise through websites for anyone who "wants to die". in short, these groups get together to commit suicide together. Complete strangers, meeting for the first and last time. The government tries to shut down these websites, but they just keep coming back.
Another pod I watched was about a Persian woman who went back to Iran to document underground house parties. Because drinking, dating and parties are illegal in Iran, the youth still yearn for an outlet, and so they have the "underground" house parties, where they can dance drink, and let loose.
Along with the pods, there are speakers mixed in like Deepak Chopra, who I heard a stunning quote from (though not his own) regarding success through failure : " I use my memories, but I dont allow my memories to use me"
They also throw in random facts, taken from Google's internet hits, like, what the top 10 searches were on the day, or in 2004, who was lobbying congress the most for funding? (Pharmaceutical companies).
So, I think I have said enough, and you should check it out for yourself!! It's channel 366 on direct tv, and not sure about reg. cable.
Who would have though Al Gore would have launched such an awesome network? KUDOS to current tv!

enfance.....

This means childhood in french, which I learned from my good friend who lives in Canada.
enfance has played a part in..my character giving way to the coward that it had shaped many years ago.
The whole smoking fiasco I wrote about in my earlier post has got me thinking, and feeling like I should have ripped that cigarette right from his feeble mouth, and said, we will go to the coffe shop to smoke, or we will go home, but it will not be done in this car. It's easy for me to think of 100 different scenarios I could have played out, but when in the moment, I caved under resistance from "the parental units". I am 37 years old, and still, I sometimes feel the guilt of "steamrolling" my parents and scolding them about their filthy habits.

The weekend did get better, once I arrived back in San Jose. Not that the South Bay is the mecca of beauty, but it is home, and it is where the one I love resides. It took me a record 5 hours to get home, which was a far cry from the last trip I made, which only took 3.5 hours to get home. Traffic was heavy, and my little 4 cylinder honda had it tough going over Donner pass. Every time I would gain speed, a slow person would get in the left lane, just as I was starting up a steep grade. I would lose all of my momentum, and those cylinders could only keep me at about 60mph chug, chug, chug.
We saw "must love dogs" which was a very cute movie. a far cry from the crap "war of the worlds" we saw last weekend. We also rented Hide and Seek, which was a decent thriller. Liked it.
I will say that Laura and I have had a string of bad luck, when it comes to annoying sounds close to us during our movie going experiences. Today, there was grandma, sitting 3 seats away from us, smacking on candy. You would not believe the projection of sound grandma made from sucking on whatever candy, cough drop or ice she had in her mouth. the suction she was creating probably could have unclogged a drain. (bad visual, I apologize, but you get the point)

Random thought passing through my head before I retire for the evening......
Charro, she is an awesome guitarist. I havent said much relating to music lately, and though she is someone who because synonomous with "the Love Boat", Charro is 1 mean guitarist. I think we are going to try to see her in Vegas when she is playing there. That would top of the whole "american" experience for me, hoochie coochie in vegas baby!!! just to say I did.
back to packing......

rain in reno

Well, the highlight of my first day in Reno was the rain. It rained hard enough to get my car dirty, and hard enough to make it really muggy by the time I got to the hospital to visit my mom. (thats not the highlight part) the highlight was actually the 2 flashes of lightening and the 3 booms of thunder I heard. This took about 10 minutes, and I felt like I was teased, yet satisfied to hear what I did. Then the wind picked up suddenly, and I thought to myself, YEAH BABY!!! a STORM!!!!!!!!!!! but, it was just the afternoon wind, and the clouds moved eastward to give way to the sun. Well, it was great while it lasted, and I did hear thunder.

Onto other more annoying excerpts from the day....why is it that when your parents get older, they become even more stubborn then you probably were at 16?
So, I dont smoke, and my parents do. have since before I was born. I am taking my dad around shopping, and he says we need to stop by the smoke shop to pick up cigarettes. I say fine, let us go. He takes me (if you know reno, you can imagine the shack this place was) to the DRIVE THROUGH smoke shop. Oh yes, its a dilapidated house, that has a woman who is toothless in the front, and has a voice 2 ocataves lower then Tom Jones, topped of with a Janice Joplin rasp. She opens this crusty window and smiles....Can I help you? We get the cigarettes, and my dad starts opening a pack. I look at him puzzled and try to give him the benifit of the doubt, that he is not going to flare up in my car. He puts the pack down after opening it up, and I am relieved. BUT, this is short lived. He picks up the pack again, and starts to extract a cigarette. I say, "Dad, you cant smoke in my car. I dont allow smoking in the car, do you want to go to the coffee shop just up on the right and you can have a cigarette?" He answers in a way that is completely igonoring my request, saying " oh dont be silly sweetheart, I wont get ashes in the car, and the window's open, the smoke will blow out" I am panicking, and I say again, I dont allow smoking in the car. This is followed by a strike of the match, and the next thing I know, he's smoking!!!! He flat out ignored me, and it wasnt because he didnt hear me. He just didnt think my request made enough sense to him and his habit. I gave up,handed him my juice, said put the butt in this when you are done, and dont throw it out the window! I couldnt believe it!

starstruck by reality

it's 5:00pm, rather warm in Sunnyvale, and I am travelling over 101, on Great America Parkway, as traffic is continuing to build. I have just left work, and my mind randomly wanders again. This time I was thinking about my feelings of when I am being "starstruck". Usually, this happens when a person come into contact with those who hold high profile jobs, such as actors or musicians, high political jobs or pretty much anyone in the limelight.
For me, I have never really experienced this weak kneed, giddy feeling one might get when coming into contact with those in high profile positions. I might be honored to gain knowledge from them, but never was one to be in awe of the mere presence of them. Ahhh, yes, I am familiar with the feeling, but.. this feeling usually happens to me when I am in love.
I was thinking that, when I am in love, I feel like I am so proud to be in the presence of my partner. In my head, I wonder "why everyone isnt in awe like I am". I wonder "why everyone doesnt feel the way I do". Like how can they just carry on through the day without smiling just because that person is alive and in their life. Now, certainly, I would not want the reality of everyone focusing their attention/affection on my partner, I might get a bit jealous or overwhelmed if this were to happen, as anyone probably would. But, my point is that I get giddy just seeing them. When in a crowd, I feel like they stand out, as if they were a flashing neon sign. I start to feel enveloped by joy and enamoured by their existence. Even after the initial "honeymoon phase" starts to settle into more of a established relationship, I still carry those same feelings around. That feeling of pride, and weak knees continues onward, way after the "honeymoon phase" has started to pass. Maybe it's stamina, I dont really know, all I can say is that when I focus my affection and love on my partner, it is without a doubt alive within me. It invigorates me, and I can get silly, giddy, and downright charmed to have them in my life. I will get excited to see them after a long day, as if I am meeting a princess or a prince. The reality is, I am starstruck by the love in my life, and not by the stars who are vacant from it.

selfish and noble

I was thinking this morning and it seems that I am on a bit of a kick to share my inner offerings, and personal thoughts.
This came to me as I was daydreaming to try to escape the hectic morning I am having at work. no particular lead in to this thought, just randomly came to me, as most people that know me, find out just how my random comments can be.
One thing to keep in mind when performing acts of nobility, is that you should be selfish about your motivations.
Doing something because you want others to notice your noble act , puts you in a posititon of expectation. This expectation can easily be thwarted, due to the inaction and little recognigtion you may recieve as a result of your deed.
One must be selfish in thier motivation, act soley based upon making oneself feel better about themselves, and out of a desire to be honest for the sake of nobility and what is right, and just. This seems to be the only true way to achieve inner peace and happiness, which, is a really awesome thing if you experience it.

If Canada can do it , why cant we?

Just read in the news that Canada just passed into law, legalizing Gay marriage. Now, why can we do that? Oh, yeah, our idiot president. I really dont want my blog to get political, so I will refrain from my choice 100 profane words I have to say about Bush and his cronies.
Apparently Canada realizes that love is something not to be feared, and basic rights are still deserved to all people. Wish our country could say the same, but there is an upside......... we have the red neck games, what more could you want? You can bob for pigs feet, or try your luck at the traditional toilet seat toss. Oh yes, this is a real event, and a real festival. Saw it on the news yesterday. visit the homepage.

Red Neck Games

Think Ill go home and start practicing my tossing abilities.

Fish Taco's and Fog

This weekend was sweltering in San Jose. It was also the weekend of the big release of the new Harry Potter book, The Half blood Prince.
Laura and I started the weekend off with a short little trip to Barnes and Noble on Friday evening (late friday evening) to pick up the new Harry Potter book. She got her copy at 12:42 am, and we happily drove home.
Saturday was predicted to be hot. really hot, and neither of us wanted to experience what the weather had in store for the valley, so we decided a movie was first on the agenda. We saw Willy Wonka and it was BY FAR, without a DOUBT, 1000X better then the original. It was wicked, funny, and full of very adult inuendo's and references that are beautifully twisted. Johnny Depp.....the only actor I could ever imagine doing this role. great movie.
So back to where the fish taco's and fog fit into this post. After the movie, it was too hot to go home, so we decided to get in the mini and go to Half Moon Bay where we knew it was at least guaranteed to have some coastal cooling for us. It was a bit stuffy going over 92, but when we got to Half Moon Bay, it was much cooler. I think in the high 60,s and partly foggy. I was pretty hungry by now, since I had only some buttered popcorn at the matinee, and was ready for something else. We looked up and saw the Flying Fish cafe, which looked like a corner dive. She had heard good things about it, so we went to try it out. I was feeling like fish taco's, something I usually dont get, but have started to crave more often now. $2.89 got me the best fish taco I have ever had!!!! sooooo gooood. (I actually had 2) Laura got the shark taco's and we split some crabby cheese bread. The crabby cheese bread was exceedingly good. They put lots more crab on top then I would have expected. Great flavor, and acceptable portions. I wanted to take the Flying Fish home with me, but the resturant wouldn't fit in the mini. :(
We came home, and later that night, since we ate kinda early, I was getting hungry around 8. I decided that my fish taco craving was not over, and I had suggested going to my old standbby eatery, Baja Fresh. I had never tried their fish taco's before, and though I would give them a try. Bad idea, they sucked and I ended up just eating my rice and some of Laura's burrito.
We decided to make a date to go back over the hill early and beach hop Sunday to read our books. We were up and out of the house by 9:30, stopped in Los Gatos for a little Crepe, (actually they were really big, and over filled, so we couldnt eat all of ours) and started up Hwy 1. We stopped at San Gregorio beach first, where it was 61 and really really foggy. (dare I say a little chilly for the convertible and a t-shirt, but I was going to be strong dammit) We read for about 2-3 hours, and decided to go to another beach after a quick pit stop. Most of the beaches were full by now, since it was about 2pm, so we decided to head back south and go to Capitola. It was foggy and in the 60's most of the drive, but AT LEAST we were not dying in the heat of the valley. Phew. As we approached Santa Cruz, the fog was lifted there and it was in the 70's. Still very nice weather, suitable for a happy day. Traffic was crazy around the wharf/boardwalk, and we were both getting really hungry by now. After a quick and easy discussion, we decided we needed to eat, (my stomach growled just as we decided) and set our sights on the Crow's Nest. We arrived there around 4ish, and of course, I needed to make up for the crappy fish taco's last night, so guess what I ordered? yeah, fish taco's. They used mahi mahi, very tasty, and wasnt breaded, which I liked in the fish taco. The tortilla's were dry and flavorless, and tasted like cardboard smells.
It was a very fun weekend, and I suspect I'll have had my fill of fish taco's for now, but next weekend, who knows....
BTW.... when we got back over the hill at 6ish, it was 96 degrees. iichhh.

im always cold, but today Im melting

For those of you that have heard me go on and on about how I love the heat, I am about to make a liar out of myself. I think my climate tolerance has hit a wall. It's a mere 90 degrees today and I am on the verge of being very uncomfortable. Years ago, I lived in sacramento. 100 degrees, 105 degrees all summer long and I was fine. But today, I am not fine. Perhaps it is age, coupled with the fact that excersizing in the heat just isnt fun anymore. I feel a sense of loss, because I just got through telling Laura that I loved the heat, and could never live in S.F. because it's cold and creepy, but then again, that was before the real heat wave of the summer. There is no way I would hike in today's weather, nor do I want to do much of anything but sit and sweat the day away. Where has my tolerance gone? It's sunny and light outside, but riding my bike after work is far from my mind, so I am here, typing away in front of the fan. I actually thought that it would be nice to be along the wharf right now, cool crisp air, and great snuggling weather. Thats another thing that sucks about the heat, you just cant cuddle with your loved ones. the last thing I want when it's 90 is to have another hot body touching mine, and I am a cuddler, so this is torture for me. So, I now have taken a new stance on the heat, I dont like it. I would prefer it between 60 and 80. No hotter, no colder.(unless I choose to visit the snow) I have finally gone to the dark side, and I am no longer the odd person out that loves the heat. :(

who said work couldnt be fun?

Usually, I would not put a post up here about work, but this was an unusual day. Today, we had a "team building" experience, where a group of us carpooled over the hill to Santa Cruz for a hard lesson on the ropes course. I had never done a "ropes course", and my idea of what it was, came striaght out of a survivor episode immunity challenge, where I thought we might have to climb a rope ladder in record time. Well, I did have to climb a ladder, and it did have ropes, but it was far from anything I had seen on survivor.


My first instinct was to say, forget it. Afterall, we were told to only participate what was most comfortable for us emotionally and physically. But, I then thought, I am not going to chicken out, especially in front of all of my peers. I figured if they were going to do it, I could too, whats the worst that could happen?
Well, after a practice go at the giant ladder, I learned that all of my preconceived notions about what looked hard, and who looked strong was all thrown off base. Some of my coworkers looked like body building firemen, who could lift up a person in the palm of their hand, I really thought would scamper up the ladder in record time.

I was dead wrong there. In fact, they had the hardest time getting up. And me, a more then robust gal, made it higher then some of the "strong" guys. Then there were the small, shorter, weak looking men and women, who made it the highest up out of the all of us. It was amazing what people can do, and you would never guess they could do it!


The same was my perception of the next challenge, to climb this tree (that kept getting smaller the higher up you went) to the very top using small staples that were driven into the tree, then balance on a little disk the size of a dinner plate, and jump off the tree to hit a ball suspended in the air. I thought I would be able to do this without any real problem. I was so wrong again. I scaled the tree with real no problem, until I got to the very top. I was able to sit on the small disk, (keep in mind that the tree was moving a slight bit) but the problem was getting my heavy *ss up and balancing to stand up. It's so easy for me to just go from a sitting position to a standing position when I am on the ground. But those very same physical moves, when done 30 feet in the air, become incredibly challenging. I was only able to squat on the disk, my legs were tired and shaking, and I coudn't get all the way up to stand. But, I was still proud I even made it to the top.
I encourage everyone, if given the chance to do something like this, definitely try it. You will surprise yourself in so many ways, and it gives you such a rush to first look at something that seems sooooooo impossible to do, and then exceed what you ever thought was possible.

the lust for lightening

with the arrival of summer, comes my usual boost of energy. My need to be outdoors more, and my anticipation for summer storms. Oh yeah, summer storms, I forget again, I live in California, where there are no storms. There is, well....... the 2 seasons. rain and sun. It's now July, and it's the season of sun. There will be occasional fog, and some wind or a breeze, but no storms. It probably wont rain until November.
Laura and I were just talking about this the other day, on the beauty of the midwest lightening. Coming from the midwest, there are certain summer sounds you become accustomed to and even attached to. Like the sound of crickets in the evening, I could fall asleep to the sounds of them rubbing their little legs together outside of my window. I would feel especially blessed if a storm would brew in the night. From the faintest rumble, would listen to it move closer and closer, until rain started to hit the window, and the heavy bellows began vibrate the house, after each bright flash of lightening. This was both passionate and soothing to me, the rumble, boom and crackle of thunder. It made me feel like you do after a good massage... tingling, relaxed, and just feeling good all around. If there is one thing I miss about living in the midwest, it's the summer storms.

the ghost haircut

well, this weekend I ventured out to get my hair cut by a new person. Now for those of you who dont know, I had the same person doing my hair for about 10+ years. Current circumstances have led me to look for a new stylist. I hadnt any idea of where to start, so, since I live in Campbell, and drive by a "hip" looking salon each day, I figured I would try there.
I went in, with the intention of getting a moderate trim. (hair off my neck, clean up the sides, even out the stragglers, kill the sideburns) You see, I am trying to grow my hair longer, much longer then it is, and I didnt want to chop it off, contrary to what I was chanting in my head all afternoon. It's in that phase where it is ultra stubborn to any type of styling that I try, so I need to just bear with it.
Back to my haircut, or shall I say ghost cut.
So, in the chair I sit, and lots of cutting is going on, I hear scissors snipping, I see hair falling, lots of it infact, I feel the prickly stickery feeling of hair on the back of my neck, the kind you cant seem to ever brush off until you have taken a full blast shower. Everything is telling me that my hair is being cut. I try not to look in the mirror, as I want to be surprised by my transformation. When all the cutting stops, and he tells me he to take a look at his creation.... I peer into the mirror and keep looking, like when you look into your fridge, knowing nothing is in there that you want, but secretly hoping you have missed an item in the last 30 scans that will pop out at you at any moment. Then I exclaim, GREAT. looks great, thanks!
I then proceed to the counter to pay for this haircut that I still dont understand quite yet. I am a little anxious at the pricing, and with good reason. The clerk says, that will be $52.00. I say ok, pay the clerk, give the guy who cut my hair a $7 tip (@15%) because I dont know what is the going rate these days. I am a little stunned. OK, I am a lot stunned. said and done, I have paid 60 bucks for a haircut that doesnt even look like I got it cut. Seriously, I dont know what he did. I still have the sideburns, I have whisps of hair that protrude from the back of my neck. I even thought, does he have a stash of hair that he put on the floor, to make it appear like he cut my hair? Is this a scam? The back looks a little thinner, and well, I can almost see the sides being a little shorter, but I dont know if I am imagining it to be so. Needless to say, I will not be going back to this establishment for a haircut.

how trance and I met

It all started back in 1988, when I was going to clubs. I loved old school deep chicago house, and used to go to the clubs (my favorite was industry, located in an west area of the city, where slums around cabrini green turned into lofts and became trendy) I was never into the mainstream clubs, mainly because I went to dance and listen to music. I didnt care about the drinks, or the seating. All I needed was a big dance floor, a couch or two, and a good DJ.
When I moved out to California, I started going to the "boy" clubs. Mostly my friends Paul, Scotty, Eric and I would hit Pleasuredome every weekend. They went for the boys, I went for the music. Again, it seemed all the girl bars played hip hop and R&B, not the type of music I was into. I wanted heart pumping, euphoric dance music that would keep me going all night long. around the age of 26 or so, my clubbing days were starting to fade. I moved to Sacramento, (another story for a different day) and didnt really get to the clubs much. I missed the music though. After all, that's what got me going in the first place. So I started to buy compilations, club mixes, or trance/techno compilations. This also doubled as great biking music, since I didnt own a car at the time, and my bike was my transportation.
After collecting lots of compilations, I still yearned for more music. I would go to a club every so often, and hear this music that I couldnt seem to find by randomly buying compilations. I had no idea of the DJ or who was mixing them.
Then, came internet radio. itunes was the gateway for me to finally get to listen to all sorts of music, and not just from the states.
I found myself going from one station to another, getting to experience the 4/4 beat I had come to know and crave. Some of my friends thought my love affair with this music would fade. Some of them HATED this music, and would curse me every time I would play it. Some forbid me from playing in their presence. (for those of you who have known me a while, i'm sure you can guess who this was)
Now I have found my niche, my style and I like to share music to those who will listen. It's not the type for everybody. Some people only like to listen to it when they are in club or event, others like it when they are working out.
Me? well, I can fall asleep to it, groove to it, work out to it, dance to it, or just veg out to it.
a future post will explain the emotional/spiritual side of what it means to me.

winter mix for summer fun

I at last received the mix, that I bought from James Lauer's site. Actually, because of my crazy persistance to obtain mixes off his site, he decided to create an online store.
I first emailed him just to see how I could get a copy of my favorite mixes. I offered up money to pay for a cd, since I wanted to travel with the mixes, and previously could only listen at work. Through some back and forth details, he decided to make an online store for others to buy his mixes. (I was his first sale and he also sent me a free mix for being the "beta buyer") I went to work this morning blasting "problem is" by Dub Pistols, and mixed by Lauer. I think this is one of my all time favorite trance songs.
woo hooo!!!!!! i am sooo excited :)

it all comes back to us eventually

The year is 1979, I am 11, & my friends are currently the pre-gang crowd. Now I say pre-gang because most of the boys on my block grew up to drop out of school/get GED's, and run with the gangs, use drugs, that sort of undesirable behavior.
But, back then, it was all silly horseplay.
So hanging out with these boys, I had on small occasions, participated in the not so desirable activities, such as thievery. Now my five finger discounting was all for the thrill of getting away with it, and trying to "hang tough" with my friends. Well, on this particular day, we decided we needed to go to the dimestore. This was Woolworth's for those of you who are old enough to know the dimestore, and for those of you who dont, well, it was the 1970's answer to the dollar store. you cold get everything there, including goldfish and hamsters. I remember many a goldfish being brought home in a bag, only to find it upside down a few weeks later.
So here we are, approaching the store, when we see a red cobra bmx bike, unlocked, resting up against the window. The lightbulbs start illuminating from all of us at once, and Tommy starts to say what we are all thinking. "free bike"
I dont know how they convinced the only female of the group to be the one to steal this thing, but somehow I let myself be bullied into grabbing that bike, and riding it back to my house like I was in the indy 500. All I remember of the moment was some short kid running out of woolworth's screaming "hey, hey, that's mine" (yeah, no kidding, it certainly wasnt ours)
I grew up in a house with storm doors, (in case of the ever so rare tornado), so we ran into my backyard and stashed the bike in the basement. we parted most of it out, forks to my friend Kurt, Tommy took the front tire, and I kept the frame. I painted the frame black, for fear that if someone had x-ray vision, and looking into my basement, they wouldnt know it's original color. That bike stayed in my basement for years. The REALLY WEIRD thing is, my parents never asked me where it came from or what it was doing in our basement. If I was my parents, I would have been all over my A**.
So, fast forward to 1983, I am now 16, and I am going out with this guy Peter. we go down to the basement, to get a little privacy, and that stupid bike is still there. We start kissing, talking, and he glances over to the place where the bike sits. he stops, and I see his mind thinking. He looks at me and says, oh wow, I used to have a bike just like that but it was red. I am now starting to become mortified at the reality of the situation beginning to take shape. Before I can even start to think, he continues to say, "but it got stolen" I am now really mortified. What do I do? does he know it's his? I dont think he does, and do I come clean? I feel guilt beyond guilt, and I conclude that I am going to fess up. It's the right thing to do.
I say to him, "so, did your bike get stolen in front of woolworths?" He nods with a "yeah" that is filled with his lightbulb moment beginning. "Well, Peter, that is your bike" "and I was the one that ripped it off" I continue to aplogize, and offer the bike up to him, (I just didnt know what to do or say). I explained the whole situation, and he was quite nice about it. It had been 5 years after all, and I was his girlfriend. This was my first realization that EVERYTHING, will come back around to you eventually, so you better be ok with the things you choose to do in life, and prepared to face the consequences of your actions.
As a side note, Peter and I only went out for a couple of weeks after that incident, then we broke up.

healthy?...you make the choice

I want to talk a little, about the difference between being health conscious , and being , well, anti-natural.
This doesnt make a-lot of sense to you now, but hopefully I will fix that.
Here at my place of employment, they do what they can to try and promote a more healthy snacking lifestyle. we have granola bars instead of a candy. ( and not the cheap kind either, these are the kind you would get at your upscale organic health foods store) we have fresh organic fruit delivered weekly, and do have potato chips, but they are the Terra Brand Chips that are actually dried yams, taro and yukon potatoes.
Yes, these are better then a bag of doritos, but this isnt what I am talking about. Let me dive a little deeper.
We have a array of sparkling waters, V8, and then we have, what this is all leading towards.... Talking Rain juice.
Now, what caught my eye about this bit of beverage, was the BIG BOLD LETTERING that read: 0 carbs, 0 calories. in small lettering, it read "does not contain any fruit"
This intrigued me to look on the back of the bottle to the ingredients to see exaclty what is in this fruity drink. The first few were chemicals I knew, splenda, potassium bensonate, water. then there were a few I didnt know, but figured they were needed for something. Then, almost last, was "natural flavors"
My question is...... exactly WHERE is this natural flavor coming from?? natural flavor from splenda, citric acid, vitiman A and water???? The particular brand I was drinking was strawberry-kiwi. No fruit juice or fruit, but it has natural flavor, yet doesnt have calories or carbs. It tasted like crappy kool aid, and personally, I think I will take my chances with a coke. At least I know where I stand with it.

"there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, Matt"

or so Tom Cruise says. I lost my respect for this bozo over the weekend, after watching the interview with him and Matt Lauer. I actually dont know if I had respect for him, but now, I think he's definitely lost credibility. If you haven't seen the interview, watch it online as it is worth listening to. He does a great job of manipulating the questions and avoiding direct answers but really fails in his explanation of what Scientology is, how he feels it should take the place of modern day drugs that "only mask the problem" and how Matt doesn't understand the history of psychology like he does. Maybe he should really spend some money on a new penis.

"beautiful things"

"no one's calling for me at the door
im predictable, dont bother anymore
now silently, it gets harder to ignore....

this dream I had theres nothing left to see,
what's done is done, this life has got a hold on me,
just let it go, one I can never be......

I forgot, that I might see
so many, beautiful things,
I forgot, that I might need
to find out, what life could be
......beautiful things

now i do, i do
can I change my mind
did I think things through
It was once my life
and it's my life I wanted"

Andain, "beautiful things".
Favorite mix is on Tiësto's Nyana cd.

This song made me aware of how I was participating in a unhappy situation, purely because I chose to, and was too much of a coward to see the "beautiful things".
All that has changed over the past 12 months, and I am now surrounded by the life I want.

#2 DJ

Armin Van Buuren!! what can I say, this guy is fucking fabulous!!!!
I discovered him in early 2004 year while sulking in my stagnant life. I started listening to internet radio, since I had some decent speakers at work, and spend about 10 hours a day there. I needed variety, and I could listen to what was going on musically in France, or what was "popular" in Europe, India, and locally with unknown musicians. I love the internet!!!!!
Anyhow, back to my little story, I was listening to Music One, and a set came on, featuring a mix of Ocean Lab's "Satellite". Loved the song, loved the mix and it seemed to fit my mood of the time. I finally found this song on A State of Trance 2004, by Armin Van Buuren.
this cd has become my most favorite of Trance cd's. It tells a wonderful story, and it has some favorites of the year, Burned with Desire and Perfect Wave.
Armin has recently produced the Sensation White anthem, (which Laura and I plan on going to next year along with Sensation Black), a show that looks like its right up our alley.
If you are looking to hear some great Euro Trance/vocal trance, Armin is the DJ to get you introduced into that genre.
You can hear him every Thursday, A State of Trance @11am PST on Digitally Imported.

Dead Can Dance

It's early sunday morning, around 2 AM, and the year is 1985. I am 17 and living in my 1 bedroom apartment that I share with my best friend Marsha, which is 2 blocks from Wrigley Field. I keep an empty tape sitting my my tape deck, just in case I want to record a song off the radio. I sleep with the music on, for reasons unknown.
My eyes open fiercly, with purpose, because the music playing is capturing my attention so profoundly. I scramble out from under the covers to hit the record button on my stereo. I get 1/2 of one song and to my luck, the entire 2nd song. WNUR is playing sets of 2 that night. Unfortunately, the DJ doesnt list the songs playing, so I have no idea who created this beautiful music I just heard.
Thats ok, I will just figure it out tomorrow, I tell myself. Well, 3 weeks later and I still cant find the artist. I am growing impatient and anxious, because I really want to know who does this music that I seem to play every day. I at least want the full song, instead of my 1/2 taped version. I ask everyone I know if they know who it is. I play them the tape, and no one knows. ARRGH! another month goes by and I am about to give up. I am talking with my firend Dion who I havent seen in a while. I decide to play her the tape, since we have similar interests in music, hoping she might know. She listens, and responds "well, it sounds like the Cockteau Twins, or Dead Can Dance" I ponder, mmmmm, I know its NOT the Cockteau Twins, so I decide I am going straight to the record store to see about this Dead Can Dance option.
I arrive at Wax Trax records later that day in search of Dead Can Dance. I find an album, (yes, vinyl, it is 1986 after all) Within the Realm of a Dying Sun. I decide to buy it, knowing that even if it doesnt have the song I have heard on the radio, if it's the same band, I will probably like it anyway. Racing home, anticipating my find, I have butterflies inside.
I start to play the album, and THIS IS IT. it's the one, I am so happy and excited, I can hardly contain it. Every song on the album is excellent. I have fallen in love with this band!
That was the story of how I first experienced Dead Can Dance. Almost 20 years later, they are still one of my favorite artists.
Dead Can Dance was founded by Brendan Perry and Lisa Gerrard. both have gone on to do solo projects, and are back this year for a tour. Not many artists move me like they have, and they have spoken my language for many years.

urban slopes

So now I am going to talk about my other childhood experience, sledding down fire escapes.
In the city, rooftops become cliff edges, and buildings are the mountains, and old pull down fire escapes can be used for hills. Sometimes when we were bored, and had nothing to do, a ride down the "hill" sounded good. The only problem was, we didnt have a sled or anything to "slide" down the "hill" with. This is when we started to become resourceful.
There would always be a cardboard box to be found and with a few strategic cuts in place, this made for a cheap and quick transport device.
We would pull down the snow covered fire escape, gently walk up it, as to not disturb the snow, and then proceed to slide down the "hill".
Sure, there were a few bumpy parts, but, when your a kid, everything is an adventure, so it didnt matter to us that it wasnt the smoothest ride.

Skitching and other urban winter sports

When I was young, growing up in Chicago, I lived in an inner city neighborhood that was mid to lower class. My bungalow (type of house in midwest) was settled about a block off the busy street, and there was lots of adventures to be had, being a kid and all. winter time meant snow time, and snow time in the city meant skitching.
For all of you that may not be familiar with the art and sport of skitching, I will try to describe a typical day I might duck out of school to engage in this unique sport.
First you need the right gear, really old shoes with little tread, (my personal faves were good ol' chuck taylors, worn down till there was just smooth rubber) Next, you will need a warm jacket, good gloves that have some sort of grip or padding on the palms. This will prove an important advantage over just having cotton/knit gloves.
In a nutshell, skitching is sneaking up behind a car stopped at a stop sign, on the snow/ice covered streets, grabbing the back bumper and going for a little ride around town.
This involves both stealth, agility, a little balance and lots of fun and danger. The best cars were V.W. bugs, because the bumpers were low, easy to hold, and the back end was such that it was hard for the driver to see you sneaking up and catching a ride. I remember the news used to put out a little reminder during the winter months, for drivers to look out for kids when coming upon stop signs.
Being a skitcher, the main thing you really needed to look out for once you caught a ride, is where you were being taken and the timing of your departure. This could prove quite dangerous if you didnt bail before the car hit plowed streets, or if they stopped suddenly at a crossway, and you went face first into the bumper. The best place to be was on the corner of the bumper, so you had the best bail space.

Tomorrow I will talk about my other winter sport, riding down snow covered fire escapes.

Where do pigeons come from and what the hell is nougat?

Rhetorically speaking, what the hell is nougat? many have had it, many have loved it and nobody seems to know what exactly is this fluffy, sugary, pasty ,foamy confection that is in so many of today's maistream candy .
Ever notice how when eating a 3 musketeers, and drinking a fresh coke, sometimes the coke will react with the nougat and foam really hard, like all the carbonation is getting angry. very weird.
and what about pigeons? where do they come from? I know I see gaggles of them in the city, all walking around aimlessly. (probably because the rooftops and store signs all have spikes now to deter them from landing) I know they breed, (unless they are the coveted immortals), because they have continued to exist. Yet I never see baby pigeons. I assume they mate, lay an egg, and walla....... you have a young pigeon. But where are they all hiding?
I have seen baby squirrels, baby ducks, baby birds, nest's with small eggs, all of which were NOT pigeons. This is a mystery I would like to crack.

when words fail to define our feelings, music begins to speak

I find that when I am at a loss for words, music can pick up and define much more accurately, what I am trying to convey. From the earliest I can rememeber, I loved music, and the way it would speak. 1 song could at times bring happiness to a dismal day, or at other times, that same song could bring me down from the pedestal I had put myself on, humbling me. It could also bring comfort when no one else could or wanted too. It invigorates me, it subdues me, and most of all, it is at the core of who I am.
This is a work in progress, and will be slow going at first, but, who's in a hurry?

Trance Dance and Romance

I decided that for all of the dance music I tend to listen to, perhaps it was time to start sharing my favorites with the outside world, other than the poor souls who travel in my car, or walk into my office.
The latest DJ who has captured my attention is out of Chicago, James Lauer. He takes the darker edge of Trance and mixes grooves together that keep you wanting more and more, craving the hypnotic passion that this music offers. My particular favorites are his Winter mix 2004 and XM mix 2004, which I consider both of these to be exceptional.
Another great up and coming DJ is Menno De Jong. I seem to really like the style of trance that comes out of Europe, and especially the Netherlands. It has a happiness to it that seems to always uplift your spirits. Now, I love the darker edge of music, but there is something to be said for euphoric, happy, the world is fine type of music. He mixes up the styles, that can be comparitive of Armin Van Buuren, by telling a story. Very bright, hopeful, triumphant and happy, with part serious mixed in. Check him out if you have decent bandwidth. :)